10 posts tagged “death”

...Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Please join me in sending cyber hugs to all Mommies and Daddies of Heaven's littlest Angels.

http://www.october15th.com/

I am Trish:

Mommy to three angels.

Jordan: born November 11, 1995

My Heart: miscarried August 8, 1997

Samuel born straight into Heaven Sept. 10, 1999

Today is Samuel's Angel Day.  Had circumstances been different he would have been born in January and would currently be 9 y/o and in the 4th grade.  I have written about him many times.  Samuel's Story  is here and then I wrote about him in  2007  and in 2008.  I was thinking that his 10 year Angel Day would somehow be different than the past nine years.  I'm not sure what I was expecting; some life altering revelation or something that has not happened.

Poems that have been written by Chris and/or me:

Samuel's Day

Your mother held you in her arms today,
And for a moment like a butterfly's flight
I saw an Angel hold an Angel

Your mother sang to you a lullaby today,
And for a moment like a kitten's breath
I saw an Angel sing to an Angel

Your mother gave you a kiss today,
And for a moment like a falling star
I saw an Angel kiss an Angel

You came and touched our lives today,
And for a moment like a rainbow shines
You were our little Angel

Your mother gave me a tearful smile today,
And for a moment that will last forever
I felt our little Angel

Four Weeks

Four weeks ago, today, I found out you were a boy.
And your heart still beat inside me

Four weeks ago tomorrow, my world started to lose it's joy. 
But your heart still beat inside me

Four weeks ago, Thursday, my world was a hospital room
But your heart still beat inside me

Four weeks ago Friday, my world grew dimmer still
But for an hour, your heart beat beside me

Four weeks ago, Tuesday, I buried my world
and I buried the heart inside me

Four weeks still feels like yesterday.  Is this my world?
No, because your heart still beats inside me

Missing you

Here I sit missing you
And feeling so blue
Can't seem to stop the "what if's"
And the "Should be's"
What if you were still here with me
How would my life be different
Would you have your Daddy's
Blue eyes, blonde curly hair, his temperment
Would your eyes light up,
Would you break into a big toothy grin
When I walk into the room
Would you be scared of the dogs
The vaccuum's varoom
These and many more are questions
I'll never have the answers to
I "should be" sitting here rocking you
But here I sit feeling blue
And missing you

As You Turn One

We should be celebrating your accomplishments
as you turn one
We should be weaning you from the bottle
as you turn one
We should be turning your car seat to face forward
as you turn one
We should be excited to see your first steps
as you turn one
We should be marveling at your first words
as you turn one
We should be wondering what new thing you would learn today
as you turn one
You should be giving hugs and kisses
as you turn one
You should be driving your big brother to distraction
as you turn one
You should be having cake and ice cream
as you turn one
You should be having lots of fun
as you turn one
I hope you are having a big celebration up in Heaven
as you turn one
I'm and down here celebrating the little time we had together
as you should be turning one

June has not been a kind month to our celebrities.

1. David Carradine.
2. Ed McMahon
3. Farrah Fawcett
4. Michael Jackson
5. and now Billy Mays.

I know Billy Mays wasn't huge-ly popular but he was a great pitchman and TV will not be the same w/o him loudly proclaiming that something is the best.

An autopsy is going to be performed.  I wonder if the conk on his head caused a lot more damage than originally thought.

RIP Mr. Mays.

Prayers and hugs going out to your family.

She's in prison for her part in the brutal rape and murder of her 3 y/o daughter.  Now she has terminal cancer and wants to be let out of prison to die.  Uhm.  No.  She sentenced her baby girl to a terrible violent painful death by doing nothing to protect her, she stood by while this monster beat, raped and abused her.  Her sentence is 13-30 years---I vote for 30 and if she happens to die a slow painful death prison well then so be it.

I know, I know.  There are two sides to every story.  This story only tells the one side....There would still have to be a huge 'other side' of the story for me to change my mind.

I am still having trouble understanding how these people could do this to a child and to the animals they were raising.  Not only is it appalling, it is inconcievable.  Link to yesterday's post: Child abuse and puppy mills.

The neighbors had no idea that there were so many children living in that double wide trailer.  They only ever saw two kids outside playing.  Two.  There were nine children in that house.  Nine.  There were only ever two seen outside.  Not only that but the woman is seven weeks pregnant with her third biological child and this would have made child number 10 in that double wide trailer.  Would this one ever be allowed to play outside or go to school? 

Here is a copy of the obit in today's paper:

Enna Barreto
NEW ALBANY - Enna Isabel Barreto, 2, died Monday, May 19, 2008, at LeBonheur Children's Medical Center in Memphis.

Services will be at 2 p.m. today at Tutor Memorial Funeral Home in Pontotoc with Bro. Lou Zemek officiating. Burial will follow in Martin Town Cemetery.

Survivors include her parents, Janet and Ramon Barreto; five sisters, Lucricia Barreto, Luisa Barreto, Marainna Torres, Celeste Barreto and Janet Barreto; three brothers, Byron Barreto, Juan Barreto and Edwin Barreto; her grandparents, Sarah and Coy Killough of New Albany, and Ramon and Libia Barreto of Mexico.

Pallbearers will be members of law enforcement in Union County.

Visitation will be from noon to 2 p.m. today.

Did you notice that the pall bearers will be members of the law enforcement community?  These people led such a sheltered life that there isn't anyone else to be a pall bearer---or maybe the law enforcement people will view this as an 'honor' to be one of the chosen ones to carry this poor baby girl to her final resting place.

Link to more on the girl and her siblings.
More on the dogs and puppies.

I am haunted by this.  Just haunted.  I am having trouble focusing on my job, my home life, anything other than this story.  How can people do this kind of stuff? They must not be 'people' but some sort of monsters.

In a town not far from my in-laws there was a large family.  All ten children had been adopted by this couple.  How in the World they managed to pass home inspections demanded by local, state, and international adoption agencies is beyond me.  Unfortunately for the youngest girl she suffered the ultimate fate at the hands of these people and died as a result of her injuries.  While investigating the child abuse charges the local authorities discovered a puppy mill operation going on at the same residence.  Fairly soon the local Humane Society will be inundated with these dogs and puppies.  They will be treated for abuse and neglect, the healthier ones will be spayed or nuetered and then they will be put up for adoption. 

I am appalled at the abuse of the children.  I am appalled by the abuse of the dogs and other animals.  I am also appalled that the reporters have more to say and report about the animal cruelty charges than they have to say about the child abuse and neglect charges.  Hopefully it is a case of they are reporting known facts and there are more known facts about the animals than there are known facts about the children.  Maybe it is a case of the less said about the child abuse the more can be used in a court of law to convict this couple on the more henious charge of child abuse.  The animal neglect and cruelty is bad enough----but to abuse your adopted child so bad that she ends up dying?  That just makes you a horrible terrible person.

Story about the child here.
Story about the animals here.

**Edited to add**

I called the Humane Society to ask about possibly adopting a schnauzer or maybe one of the rat terriers.  They are still in the process of identifying and checking out all of the animals.  They still don't know what they have, what is healthy and other assorted things that happen during a time like this.  They have our name and number and will call us when they are more organized; in a week or two.

I dreamt of my other father-in-law's death last night.  He died while I was still married to Ernie; which is one of the reasons Ernie turned to drugs and alcohol.  He had trouble dealing with the death of both of his parents within 14 months of each other.

It seems to me that I dream of their deaths/funerals fairly often.  It is at least a common theme in my dreams.  Weird.  Although the dreams usually happen close to a birthday or the day they died.  While I can't remember when my father-in-laws birthday was, I do know it wasn't in April.  Ernie's birthday is April 5th (hee hee...he just turned 45 and he hates birthday's) so it would stand to reason that I would remember if Daddy's birthday was in the same time frame.  I know he died in September...Momma was born in February and died in August.  (am I still allowed to call them Momma and Daddy, if I divorced their son after they died?)

So, in last nights dream I am newly separated/divorced from Ernie when I read in the paper that Daddy has died.  I go to the funeral home where I am greeted with mixed emotions.  Anything from flat out hate/anger to cries of happiness.  Some relatives understand the reasons behind why I left Ernie and are okay with me coming to the funeral, others are just flat out angry with me for causing 'poor innocent Ernie' such pain and heartache.  I see Ernie in passing and we speak to each other in very nuetral tones.  In the dream Momma has survived Daddy (which is not what happened in real life) and she acts like she understands the reasons for me leaving; but the vibe I get from her is she is disappointed that I didn't try harder to work things out.  Some of his sisters and brother's-in-law are down right ugly to me and tell me that I'm not welcome and to leave.  Other sisters tell me to ignore the hateful ones and they sit down with me to get caught up.  That's pretty much all there was to the dream...except Ernie disappears and we all are left to assume that he is off getting drunk.

There are times when I dream of Ernie and/or his family; some of them seem to understand why I left and divorced him and others just don't seem to have 'gotten over it'.  Sometimes when I dream of Ernie I dream that I've left Chris and have reconciled with Ernie...only to see the error of my ways and Chris won't take me back or help me get out of the situation I've gotten myself into.

Weird

Show us a picture that's worth a thousand words.
Submitted by sami711.

Samuel with Mom

8 comments

This is Samuel.  His time of birth is the same as his time of death.  At least on the 'official certificates'.  As the nurse was snapping this picture Samuel was trying to breathe, his little chest is in the process of caving in from the struggle to live.  He is purple due to bruising caused by going through the birth canal.  He was 20 weeks gestation.  Just a few weeks shy of the doctors trying to save his life.  He will never ever be forgotten.

You can read his story here.