2 posts tagged “pushing buttons”

Is if you push them long enough----one day I snap and scream at you very ugly-like. 

I usually catch myself and take a deep breath; calming down. 

But, if you push them again, right away...

I shut down and I quit caring.

That being said.  I don't know how Jordan and I are going to survive his hormonal teen age years.

He pushed all the right buttons this morning.  I quit caring and didn't tell him....therefore he had to chase the bus down in order to not miss it.  Luckily the crazy-assed-bus-driver decided to wait on him.  If he had missed it I wasn't going to drive him: I was going to make him wake his Dad up and suffer the wrath of an awakened too early for nonsense Dad.

Monday morning I will NOT get up to make sure he is ready for the bus.  He seems to resent my early morning 'hurry-ups'.  So, Monday morning I won't get up, I won't make sure he is ready and if he manages to miss the bus....well then he gets to deal with the ugly consequences...because....

I've shut down and quit caring.

So, even though the work project didn't get finished on time (and I put in over 40 hours in four days...I'm brain dead) I sat him down this morning and we talked about last Saturday night.  He's already admitted how stupid he was and he's apologized, not to mention that he has to replace the door so that reminds him everytime he thinks about it.

We talked about how we pushed each other's buttons.  I defended the dog: "Don't hurt her, she's just a puppy!" which said to him 'Eeyore cares more about the damn dog than she does about the house and our stuff'.  He then said that he never gets what 'he wants' (The: "Where's MY motorcycle, where's MY vacation" etc....) which made me feel like all of the work and energy I put into this house and my job didn't matter at all to him.  Which set me off.....

He said that had I just 'shut the door' instead of locking it, he would have just walked away and let us cool off.  But when I locked the door, I pushed a button.  He said that he saw it unfold in his mind, how he'd kick the door and it would just pop open, he'd walk in flex his muscles to show he was a man...and then he'd walk back out.  So, he gave it a kick....and the door broke, then since the door was already broken, he couldn't just walk away, he had to finish kicking it in.  He didn't say it was a smart decision, he acknowledged that it was pretty stupid and he wishes he'd never even tried it.

I did tell him that all of the trust and encouragement that he's given me through the years: the things that have enabled me to 'argue' back...those are pretty much gone and we are going to have to start building them again.  I told him how sick I was the other night when Darcy chewed up the carpet again....

We had a good talk and things feel better now.